As I sit here, 33.5 weeks pregnant, with my decision made for me. It's definitely not my first choice, but it is what will (likely) be.
I'm going to have a c-section.
We had another ultrasound this morning, and we discovered/confirmed a few things.
1) Peanut does not like to have his/her picture taken. We didn't get ONE good ultrasound picture out of it. Hands/arms in the face, smashed up against the placenta, cord beneath the nose.
2) Peanut is about 4.9 lbs now, putting him/her at the 41st percentile in weight. They couldn't get a length, though Peanut seems tall (see #1).
3) Peanut has a lot of hair.
4) Peanut is stubborn. Peanut, though head-down until about 20 weeks, decided it was a good idea to turn head-up (breeched position). I have tried heat and cold application, music, positioning and exercises and . . . nothing. The babe doesn't want to move. They think I may have a cephalopelvic disproportion (pelvis is too small), but they cannot confirm that.
#4 is the reason we are scheduled to have a c-section. We have a date set, but we aren't sharing that with anyone. There is still a change that Peanut will turn on his/her own, but as each day goes by, this becomes less and less likely as the babe is running out of room. If Peanut does turn on his own, then I can proceed to attempt a vaginal delivery.
I know c-sections aren't the worst thing ever. I know that one of the best OB doctors in the state will be the one performing the c-section. I know that Peanut will not have a misshapen head if I have a c-section. I know it's much safer for Peanut to come out via my abdomen versus trying to attempt a breech delivery.
I also know c-sections require a lot more recovery time. Babies can have more trouble breastfeeding when they are born via c-section and can be more groggy from all the meds they end up absorbing.
So, we wait. We wait to see if the little one with move into the correct position. If not, I know when Peanut's birthday will be, and I'm trying to be ok with that.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
An Update
It's been quite a long time since I've posted anything. I would like to claim that this is because I have such an exciting life that I have not had time, but I also don't like to lie. I haven't posted for two reasons:
1) We have actually been pretty busy
2) I mostly forgot about it . . .
The past month has been filled with several new things. We started our Lamaze class about a month ago, for one. It is interesting and helpful, but what the other couples in our class DON'T know will never cease to amaze me. I realize that I'm in healthcare, but they ask about things I've known since . . . . forever. What's an epidural? What are kegels? What's an episiotomy? *sigh* I suppose I will have to learn to be more patient. Lord knows I'll need it with this child!
Besides our Lamaze class, we have been actively collecting things for our Peanut. I had a fantastic shower in State College (thanks, Becki!!) where we received TONS of very much needed (and desired) baby things. I am so incredibly thankful to all my friends and family who were able to come and celebrate with me! It very much calmed my nerves about not being ready for our new addition!
The biggest thing that we have been going through is trying to figure out where to live. We have about 5 weeks left before we have to be out of our trashy apartment. I promise you, there is not an ounce of my ever-growing body that will miss this place AT ALL--each and every day, every cop siren, ever drug deal, every slamming door and every unclean clothing garment confirms that. However, the thought of not being sure WHERE to move when I'm 7.5 months pregnant is horrifying. So, needless to say, we have spent countless evenings and weekends house hunting. It didn't go so well at first . . .
I know we don't need anything spectacular--we are RENTING this new place, after all, not buying. We did find out, however, how very difficult finding a nice, affordable place is. We could find multiple things seriously wrong with nearly every place we have looked at until this week. We finally have our search narrowed down to one of two townhouses in the area. There are definite pros and cons to each, and we're in the process of figuring out which benefits outweigh which risks, along with seeing how willing the owners are to negotiate. I hope to know exactly where we will be living by tomorrow night.
It's hard to explain, but I've never been more excited to move. It's not just that our current dwelling place is similar to a POW "living" space with drug deals going on multiple times a day. I just want and NEED to nest. (I feel Peanut's constant jabs and pokes, along with his/her frequent tumbles on my bladder and "hi-yas!" into my diaphragm are telling me so). I need to set up Peanut's room, wash Peanut's clothes and put things away. I need to know exactly where things will go and what all we still absolutely need before Peanut makes his/her debut. I realize I have about 8 weeks left, but let's face it, this babe is going to come whenever he/she wants to, including very early. I know some people are into last-minutes things, but I am way too OCD to wait until mid-January to start preparations. I'll end up in a psych ward . . .
All if this rant is to ask this: please pray for us. Please pray that we'll make a wise housing decision that will be the best of all 5 of us (yes, pets, too) in a timely manner. Please pray that our tentative mid-December move will not be stricken with inches upon inches of snow and that everyone helping us will be able to be safe in their travels. Please pray that I will be able to nest successfully without driving poor Adam mad. Please pray that we'll soon find a church to officially call home very soon. Please pray that Adam will continue to do well in school, even as our lives take a crazy turn. Please pray for a safe and healthy delivery.
Please pray.
1) We have actually been pretty busy
2) I mostly forgot about it . . .
The past month has been filled with several new things. We started our Lamaze class about a month ago, for one. It is interesting and helpful, but what the other couples in our class DON'T know will never cease to amaze me. I realize that I'm in healthcare, but they ask about things I've known since . . . . forever. What's an epidural? What are kegels? What's an episiotomy? *sigh* I suppose I will have to learn to be more patient. Lord knows I'll need it with this child!
Besides our Lamaze class, we have been actively collecting things for our Peanut. I had a fantastic shower in State College (thanks, Becki!!) where we received TONS of very much needed (and desired) baby things. I am so incredibly thankful to all my friends and family who were able to come and celebrate with me! It very much calmed my nerves about not being ready for our new addition!
The biggest thing that we have been going through is trying to figure out where to live. We have about 5 weeks left before we have to be out of our trashy apartment. I promise you, there is not an ounce of my ever-growing body that will miss this place AT ALL--each and every day, every cop siren, ever drug deal, every slamming door and every unclean clothing garment confirms that. However, the thought of not being sure WHERE to move when I'm 7.5 months pregnant is horrifying. So, needless to say, we have spent countless evenings and weekends house hunting. It didn't go so well at first . . .
I know we don't need anything spectacular--we are RENTING this new place, after all, not buying. We did find out, however, how very difficult finding a nice, affordable place is. We could find multiple things seriously wrong with nearly every place we have looked at until this week. We finally have our search narrowed down to one of two townhouses in the area. There are definite pros and cons to each, and we're in the process of figuring out which benefits outweigh which risks, along with seeing how willing the owners are to negotiate. I hope to know exactly where we will be living by tomorrow night.
It's hard to explain, but I've never been more excited to move. It's not just that our current dwelling place is similar to a POW "living" space with drug deals going on multiple times a day. I just want and NEED to nest. (I feel Peanut's constant jabs and pokes, along with his/her frequent tumbles on my bladder and "hi-yas!" into my diaphragm are telling me so). I need to set up Peanut's room, wash Peanut's clothes and put things away. I need to know exactly where things will go and what all we still absolutely need before Peanut makes his/her debut. I realize I have about 8 weeks left, but let's face it, this babe is going to come whenever he/she wants to, including very early. I know some people are into last-minutes things, but I am way too OCD to wait until mid-January to start preparations. I'll end up in a psych ward . . .
All if this rant is to ask this: please pray for us. Please pray that we'll make a wise housing decision that will be the best of all 5 of us (yes, pets, too) in a timely manner. Please pray that our tentative mid-December move will not be stricken with inches upon inches of snow and that everyone helping us will be able to be safe in their travels. Please pray that I will be able to nest successfully without driving poor Adam mad. Please pray that we'll soon find a church to officially call home very soon. Please pray that Adam will continue to do well in school, even as our lives take a crazy turn. Please pray for a safe and healthy delivery.
Please pray.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
First Spanking
My dearest firstborn,
Know that I discipline you because I love you. I did not want to spank you today, and by doing so smack my own belly, but when you are disobedient, I have no choice.
We wanted a simple picture of your face today to make sure you were developing as expected. You didn't allow us to do this 7 weeks ago, but we attributed that to your lack of desire to move to a pathetic apartment. Today, you have no excuse. You were simply being stubborn.
A 25 week, 4 day ultrasound should not take 2 hours. You did not want to face the "camera," and instead hid your sweet face with BOTH hands AND a foot. When the expert tech used her "fool proof" method of getting babes to move by putting the buzzer on my belly, you still didn't budge. She said even she was going to have a choice nickname for you that she couldn't share with us. Now we have to have more ultrasounds in 4 and 8 weeks. This was the first time you embarrassed your parents, but I know it will not be your last.
So, since the tech couldn't get you to move, I had to spank your tiny hind-quarters. This didn't seem to bother you, either. This will have to change once you begin to breathe something other than amniotic fluid.
All I can say is, you are truly a product of your parents. You are just as stubborn as your mother and you stay snuggled in a comfy position just like your father. I can't wait for the next 18 years.
Know that I discipline you because I love you. I did not want to spank you today, and by doing so smack my own belly, but when you are disobedient, I have no choice.
We wanted a simple picture of your face today to make sure you were developing as expected. You didn't allow us to do this 7 weeks ago, but we attributed that to your lack of desire to move to a pathetic apartment. Today, you have no excuse. You were simply being stubborn.
A 25 week, 4 day ultrasound should not take 2 hours. You did not want to face the "camera," and instead hid your sweet face with BOTH hands AND a foot. When the expert tech used her "fool proof" method of getting babes to move by putting the buzzer on my belly, you still didn't budge. She said even she was going to have a choice nickname for you that she couldn't share with us. Now we have to have more ultrasounds in 4 and 8 weeks. This was the first time you embarrassed your parents, but I know it will not be your last.
So, since the tech couldn't get you to move, I had to spank your tiny hind-quarters. This didn't seem to bother you, either. This will have to change once you begin to breathe something other than amniotic fluid.
All I can say is, you are truly a product of your parents. You are just as stubborn as your mother and you stay snuggled in a comfy position just like your father. I can't wait for the next 18 years.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Last Time
Today I spent a lot of time thinking at work. Obviously I'm a CRNP and I think constantly because it's part of the job, but I mean I was thinking about different things in between patients.
First of all, I was thinking about the things I had to get done this weekend . . . return a shirt, breakfast date with Huck, viewing a few potential rental properties, laundry, dusting, cleaning the bathroom and kitchen, baking cookies, watching the PSU homecoming football game, taming the mutt, deciding which church to check out this Sunday, visiting with the parents in Lancaster for my birthday, etc. etc. These are all good things and I oddly look forward to them.
I will be 27 years old on Sunday. I'm not old, and this is not a whoa-is-me kind of a birthday, but a different one. This will be the last birthday I have before I become a mother. At this time next year, I will have 9-month old babe to care for. This is the best thing ever, but it also made me think of how all the aforementioned things on my "to-do" list are going to be a lot more challenging.
I will no longer be able to run and do whatever on my own time. Instead, my new to-do list will be as follows:
1) feed Peanut (and throw in a load of laundry)
2) burp Peanut (and wash dishes)
3) change Peanut (then make supper)
4) console Peanut (and tackle the mutt)
5) teach Peanut (and try to spend time with Huck)
That's going to be the best to-do list. Ever.
First of all, I was thinking about the things I had to get done this weekend . . . return a shirt, breakfast date with Huck, viewing a few potential rental properties, laundry, dusting, cleaning the bathroom and kitchen, baking cookies, watching the PSU homecoming football game, taming the mutt, deciding which church to check out this Sunday, visiting with the parents in Lancaster for my birthday, etc. etc. These are all good things and I oddly look forward to them.
I will be 27 years old on Sunday. I'm not old, and this is not a whoa-is-me kind of a birthday, but a different one. This will be the last birthday I have before I become a mother. At this time next year, I will have 9-month old babe to care for. This is the best thing ever, but it also made me think of how all the aforementioned things on my "to-do" list are going to be a lot more challenging.
I will no longer be able to run and do whatever on my own time. Instead, my new to-do list will be as follows:
1) feed Peanut (and throw in a load of laundry)
2) burp Peanut (and wash dishes)
3) change Peanut (then make supper)
4) console Peanut (and tackle the mutt)
5) teach Peanut (and try to spend time with Huck)
That's going to be the best to-do list. Ever.
Monday, October 10, 2011
The Pregnancy Calendar
At our last OBGYN appointment on October 5, we found at that I am actually a little farther along in this pregnancy than originally thought . . . a whole three days! Three days isn't significant to some, but as I gradually become more and more swollen, it makes a world of a difference to me.
At that appointment, I was 23 weeks and 3 days pregnant. So, as of yesterday, I was 24 weeks pregnant, or 6 months pregnant. I have recently heard many controversies about this timing from males and those without children. "Well if you're 6 months NOW, that means that at 40 weeks, you will be 10 months pregnant, not 9!" Yes, that's true--10 LUNAR months pregnant. Ask any pregnant woman or woman that has had a child within the past 30 years or more. It's 40 weeks or TEN months.
I do find myself telling people that I'm six months pregnant now--it's so much easier for them to "visualize" than telling them I'm "24 weeks, 1 day." What does THAT mean to them?
While I'm happy to be farther along than originally thought, all this realization of me being six months pregnant (already!) is terrifying to me. We sadly still live in a dump of an apartment where the maintenance staff doesn't seem to care that our outlets don't work and that our toilet doesn't work. We still haven't sold our home, though it's looking like it may be leased soon. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that this may very well be Peanut's first "home". If that's the case, that also means that there will be no family coming to help for the first few weeks, as is customary--we have no room to house them.
What's more terrifying is that we really have nothing for Peanut. We have a crib, but no mattress or sheets. We don't have diapers or bottles. We don't have a car seat or a strolled. I also haven't had any showers yet, but all this makes me worry--what if Peanut decides to grace us with his/her presence SUPER early, and we still have nothing? I know we won't be entirely prepared to be parents (who REALLY is??), but I was at least hoping to have a real place to live and real necessities for the little booger.
It's fun being sixth months or 24 weeks, 1 day pregnant. I think I need to stop thinking . . .
At that appointment, I was 23 weeks and 3 days pregnant. So, as of yesterday, I was 24 weeks pregnant, or 6 months pregnant. I have recently heard many controversies about this timing from males and those without children. "Well if you're 6 months NOW, that means that at 40 weeks, you will be 10 months pregnant, not 9!" Yes, that's true--10 LUNAR months pregnant. Ask any pregnant woman or woman that has had a child within the past 30 years or more. It's 40 weeks or TEN months.
I do find myself telling people that I'm six months pregnant now--it's so much easier for them to "visualize" than telling them I'm "24 weeks, 1 day." What does THAT mean to them?
While I'm happy to be farther along than originally thought, all this realization of me being six months pregnant (already!) is terrifying to me. We sadly still live in a dump of an apartment where the maintenance staff doesn't seem to care that our outlets don't work and that our toilet doesn't work. We still haven't sold our home, though it's looking like it may be leased soon. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that this may very well be Peanut's first "home". If that's the case, that also means that there will be no family coming to help for the first few weeks, as is customary--we have no room to house them.
What's more terrifying is that we really have nothing for Peanut. We have a crib, but no mattress or sheets. We don't have diapers or bottles. We don't have a car seat or a strolled. I also haven't had any showers yet, but all this makes me worry--what if Peanut decides to grace us with his/her presence SUPER early, and we still have nothing? I know we won't be entirely prepared to be parents (who REALLY is??), but I was at least hoping to have a real place to live and real necessities for the little booger.
It's fun being sixth months or 24 weeks, 1 day pregnant. I think I need to stop thinking . . .
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Pros and Cons
It's official--I am more than halfway through my first pregnancy. I am 21 weeks along now and getting bigger by the day. . . . and, according to some, more whiny ;-)
I love being pregnant--there's a beautiful little life growing inside me, and I get to have a connection with this life that no one else will ever have. I do not, however, love the fact that you still can't really tell if I'm pregnant or just getting generally fat. I have had a few of my new patients look at me like, "hmmm, kinda chunky, ay?" I also still feel like people look at me like I'm a chunky hog when I am eating in public instead of realizing that I require a little more energy than usual.
I also don't like reflux or my chubby cheeks. I don't like how my clothes are fitting . . . the maternity clothes are, for the most part, too big, but I definitely can't fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes. I do like that sweats fit me perfectly and remind me of my college weekends with the best roomie ever.
I do like that my nails are growing faster and stronger than every before. I like that my hair is growing as fast as it did before I ever had radiation. My husband likes that other . . . "parts" . . . are growing at an insane rate.
But, all in all, I take the good and the bad. As of January 2007, I didn't know if I'd even be able to have children. As of February (or, ideally January 23 at precisely 2224), I will have the most beautiful little gift in my arms, and I will have forgotten all of the nonsense that weighs on my mind now.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Choose like your life depends on it
It's September 8, 2011. We have lived in Harrisburg for about 1.5 weeks now and I have been working for 3 days. One would assume I haven't developed too many opinions or haven't really gotten a taste for it here, but that's just not true.
I am currently working for the most fantastic hospital system with the nicest and most helpful people ever. They are beyond understanding of peoples' life situations and how work is not, in fact, all an employee should ever focus on. (People have LIVES outside of work??? WHAT???) Anyway, seeing what was happening yesterday and today just blew my mind--in a good way.
As you may know, a large portion of this system is right on the Susquehanna River--I'm talking fewer than 50 yards away. Naturally, since Lee decided to dump lots of rain on us and since the river is now at nearly 29', parts of the system have been flooded. People didn't panic. They didn't run away. They *helped* each other get the essentials out of the way and got people to go home and into safety. Wow. People that care about people. Amazing.
Don't get me wrong, here. I have been working for the company for only 3 days now. I know I will have good days and bad days. I know that people will upset me and probably rearrange my books just to mess with my OCD-like tendencies. I am just really happy that I have not yet encountered ONE mean/uncaring/dramatic/self-loathing person. Not one.
Needless to say, we have been much happier out here. Sure, money's beyond tight. We're struggling to sell our home. Adam's trudging his way through school and trying to find part-time temporary work to help with the bills that are piling up. Jabber has no room to run around or be outside "by herself." The flood waters are dangerously close to our temporary home and we have had to stock up on water and other essentials since we can't access our own supply. We don't care. It doesn't matter. Peanut is developing perfectly and moving around like a little monkey. Adam and I have been able to spend time with each other. I love everything about my job. Our families are significantly closer to us. God has done nothing but take care of us, and I know He will continue to do so.
I continue to pray for the things that trouble our hearts--primarily the sale of our home in Canonsburg, Adam's school and finding a good church home. But one of my biggest prayers has been answered. . . I "chose like my life depended on it" . . . and I'm happy.
I am currently working for the most fantastic hospital system with the nicest and most helpful people ever. They are beyond understanding of peoples' life situations and how work is not, in fact, all an employee should ever focus on. (People have LIVES outside of work??? WHAT???) Anyway, seeing what was happening yesterday and today just blew my mind--in a good way.
As you may know, a large portion of this system is right on the Susquehanna River--I'm talking fewer than 50 yards away. Naturally, since Lee decided to dump lots of rain on us and since the river is now at nearly 29', parts of the system have been flooded. People didn't panic. They didn't run away. They *helped* each other get the essentials out of the way and got people to go home and into safety. Wow. People that care about people. Amazing.
Don't get me wrong, here. I have been working for the company for only 3 days now. I know I will have good days and bad days. I know that people will upset me and probably rearrange my books just to mess with my OCD-like tendencies. I am just really happy that I have not yet encountered ONE mean/uncaring/dramatic/self-loathing person. Not one.
Needless to say, we have been much happier out here. Sure, money's beyond tight. We're struggling to sell our home. Adam's trudging his way through school and trying to find part-time temporary work to help with the bills that are piling up. Jabber has no room to run around or be outside "by herself." The flood waters are dangerously close to our temporary home and we have had to stock up on water and other essentials since we can't access our own supply. We don't care. It doesn't matter. Peanut is developing perfectly and moving around like a little monkey. Adam and I have been able to spend time with each other. I love everything about my job. Our families are significantly closer to us. God has done nothing but take care of us, and I know He will continue to do so.
I continue to pray for the things that trouble our hearts--primarily the sale of our home in Canonsburg, Adam's school and finding a good church home. But one of my biggest prayers has been answered. . . I "chose like my life depended on it" . . . and I'm happy.
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